Summer Driving and Life Milestones

Driving back from my stepson's graduation from Army boot camp in South Carolina today there were summer greens, long shadows, warm air, the clicking sound of the road passing underneath the truck and deer spottings along the edges where the fields meet the woods at the day's end.  I value freedom, autonomy and the open-endedness that summer affords me, and I relished all of these things on the drive.

My stepson finished 3rd out of 700 soldiers in the entire bootcamp in physical training.  He values the structure and rigor of the career he's chosen, and it meets a need to take care of his family.  He's excited about his next adventure and wonders if he should have chosen a more challenging role in the Army that would have presented him with more arduous basic training.  I tell him I think he's proven himself, but I chuckle, too, because I understand that tendency to always be wondering what more I could do.  He's motivated by a purpose he has defined for himself.

Though we're following very different paths, I'm incredibly proud of him and the focus and determination he has been able to channel.  Because he's chosen work that meets his needs and is aligned with his values, he is propelled forward with an exciting energy.  He's taken a leap into his future, and at 19 years old, he really still has his whole life ahead of him.  The truth is, however, that we all have our whole lives ahead of us--no matter our age.  

So, with the utmost love and respect, I thank him for helping to secure the freedom that I value, I put a bunch of white light around him and vow to myself to enjoy something about summer every day!

If you stop right where you are and recognize that you have your whole life ahead of you, what purpose could you find that meets your needs and is aligned with your values?  What would make your life incredibly worth living?

Mug Shot

A little morning inspiration...

Or with a little help from a coach!

What Gives You Light?

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs.  Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people that have come alive." ~Howard Thurman

What lights you up and how can you begin to incorporate it into your daily life?

Why Work?

"Well...because we have to eat, clothe and shelter ourselves," you say.  Perhaps the more relevant question is why do we work the way that we work?  Work as we've known it will probably never be the same.  The days when an individual committed to a company, worked out her days and retired with a comfortable pension are, in many cases, a thing of the past.  Still, many of us work long hours with little leisure time and little financial progress to show for it.

With the impact of the "new normal" in terms of jobs and the economy, many of us have taken the opportunity to rethink the work we do and how we do it.  Innovation, self-direction and creative problem solving are the skill set of the twenty-first century worker, and we're using these skills to consider how we define for ourselves a life worth living.

 In this context, it is fascinating to return to reading Helen Nearing's 1954 classic The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living.  In this book, Nearing lays out the planning and execution of a back-to-the-land, self-reliant life that she and her husband began in the depths of the Depression-plagued United States of 1932 and carried out for the remainder of their days.

While I have found many interesting and inspiring ideas in this book, one in particular has stuck with me since I first began reading it.  The Nearings had an interesting approach to work and the balance of their daily schedule.There were morning hours and afternoon hours.  Four hours were dedicated to labor that brought food and money, four hours spent in leisure which might involve reading, playing music or enjoying nature and four hours were spent socializing or working in the community.  Four hours of labor earned four hours of leisure.  On Sundays there was no schedule and no bread labor.  Vacations were taken  in blocks of time ranging from weeks to months.  This, of course, was done in the absence of  mortgages and other debts.

Utopian?  Perhaps, though Nearing admits that some of the experience was deeply satisfying and some not so enjoyable.  Though I could easily see myself finding ease and enjoyment in such a daily schedule, what intrigues me most is the idea of taking control of my life in such a way that I could schedule my work around my life rather than my life around my work--meeting my needs and still having plenty of time to address my interests.  That is life design!

What would your ideal work/life balance look like if you were to design it from scratch?

Spreading the "F" Word: Fun!

If you have an aversion to the Fun word or just have a hard time incorporating it into your life, here is a list brainstormed with blog readers from ages 3-81.  Okay, the three year old may not be reading the blog yet, but he willingly offered a description of his idea of fun!

You'll probably notice that it's difficult to tell the difference between the responses across the ages and that most of what people define as fun are simple, inexpensive acts that you could easily incorporate into your life.

Commit to a little fun everyday and experience greater happiness and relaxation on the road to a life well balanced.  Feel free to add to our ideas!

1. Take a road trip to visit with a friend
2. Float in a pool
3. Howl with your doggie
4. Sit on a patio and dine with friends
5. Lay in the grass and read a book...
6. Roller Derby, baby!
7. Get lost in a great book such that you HAVE to keep reading
8. Grow your own tomatoes
9. Walk through your garden eating tomatoes right off the vine 
10. Create a signature mixed drink
11. Share an apple with a Mocking Bird
12. Fire up the smoker and gaze at the stars
13. Hike thru the woods and stalk the wildlife
14. Take a pre-dawn walk and watch the sunrise
15. Drive down the backroads in the early am and scan the fencelines for reflective eyes
16. Play music - alone or with others
17. Read a good page-turner
18. Get physical activity: surfing, softball, mtn. biking, nature walks/runs
19. Research your interests: musical equipment, bikes, vintage stuff
20. Travel/road trip! 
21. Consider the possibilities for your life
22. Create something with your hands
23. Write or express your self in some facet
24. Cook a new meal (esp. fun when it turns out well)
25. Find inspiration in the world around you
26. Take abstract photographs
27. Get together with old friends and reminisce
28. Enjoy wine/beer tasting 
29 .Play Wii!!
30. Play kickball or dodgeball or other games of your youth.
31. Go to a comedy club
32. Hang out and be with kids
33. Crank up the music and dance to tunes like no one is watching (and hopefully no one is)
34. Cook out on the beach
35. Go on a bike ride
36. Go sailing
37. Ride in a convertible
38. Strike up a conversation with a total stranger.
39. Get a map, close your eyes and pick out an obscure location and go armed with a camera, sketchpad and journal
40. Sit on the potty (my 3-year-old nephew!)
41. Tell and listen to jokes
43. Eat cookies and chocolate
44. Window shop
45. Look for butterflies
46. Go to parties
47. Do something for someone in need
49. Splash in the water
50. Organize a room and take pleasure in the results


How can you have some fun right now?

Taking In the Solstice

Thanks to the participants in my workshop today.  We took a look at a values exercise, considered the balanced life and visualized some goals for the summer.  We then recorded a summer wish and went down to sit ocean side for a bit.  Stay posted for more workshop opportunities to learn about coaching and to try out a tool or two!

I also got to take in a softball game this evening and at 8:30 looked up in the sky and took note that it was still light.  I love marking the change of seasons because it keeps me present and helps me to focus on all of the things to be grateful for in each part of the year.

One practice I always engage in at the beginning of the summer is to make a summer list--those things that are priorities to experience during the season.  Some of the items on my list include picking fresh fruit, going to the ocean, playing badminton, driving in the car with the windows down and the a/c on, sitting out on a patio at night and having a drink, taking a nap with a sheet covering me and the fan blowing on me, sitting outside at night and listening to the insect orchestra, walking to the library to check out some books, etc.


What pleasures of the season do you want to make sure you don't miss? 

Make Startling Choices

We all make choices everyday, whether we're aware of them or not, that change our life experience for days, weeks and even years.  The choice could simply be deciding not to choose--to let life happen to us or to let someone else choose for us. Regardless of how you believe life unfolds, be it through a divine power, your own determination or some other way, you still have to listen to the message that guides you in your choices.

Are you stuck in a rut, afraid to make a move or experiencing the same patterns over and over again?  What if you were to consider making a startling choice?  What one choice could you make today that would have the biggest positive impact on your life experience?  What choices have you been hiding from?  What would you consider an exhilaratingly startling choice for yourself?   

Tuesday Workshop

I'm making final plans for my free Summer Solstice Coaching Workshop this Tuesday, June 21st at the oceanfront in Croatan.  We'll do a few activities and then head down to the beach to bring in the summer!  Please RSVP today if you're planning on coming.  If you've already contacted me, I'll be sending directions and parking details to you directly.  I look forward to seeing you!

The"F" Word: F-U-N!

I have to admit it can be a little bit difficult for me to say the fun word. When so many of us are working long hours, pinching pennies and tending to the more serious requirements of life, fun may seem frivolous and indulgent. The truth is, though, that one of the very important aspects of living a well balanced life is making time for fun. Fun helps us to relax, restores our energy and enables us to see why all of our challenges might be worth the effort.

How would life be different if fun wasn't an option?

Here's a low risk way to share something on this blog. Brainstorm with me to create a list of 50 ways to have fun! I'll start. You copy and paste what I or the most recent commenter have written and add some ideas of your own. We'll see how long it takes us to get to 50. I dare you--have some fun with me!

1. Take a road trip to visit with a friend
2. Float in a pool
3. Howl with your doggie
4. Sit on a patio and dine with friends
5. Lay in the grass and read a book...

Five down, forty-five to go!

Shed a Little Light On Your Life!

You’re invited to a free workshop on the day of Summer Solstice!   Join me at the Oceanfront in Croatan at 840 South Atlantic Avenue on Tuesday, June 21, 2011 from 2:00-5:00 p.m. Slow down, enjoy the first day of summer and shed a little light on the life you find worth living. Spend an hour learning about coaching and doing a couple of individual discovery activities.  Then join me at the beach to welcome  the beginning of summer! Please R.S.V.P. by Saturday, June 18, 2011  by e-mail or phone, and I will provide you with directions and parking details.    Internal Luminosity Coaching for a Life Worth Living Kim Bielmann Cabotaje luminouscoaching@gmail.com http://internal-luminosity.blogspot.com/ 757.478.6990

When No One is Looking

As we form our identity, we all count on others to help us see our strengths and to become aware of our challenges.  A healthy perspective on what paths might be more or less likely for us can be helpful as we move toward shaping a future for ourselves.  But it's not always that simple and what others tell us about who we are is not always that helpful.  Just because we're good at something doesn't necessarily mean we'll love doing it.  Just because something seems an unlikely fit doesn't mean that our drive and desire won't overcome our deficits.

What has influenced who you are today?  How much of your life has been shaped by external forces (convention, popular wisdom, standards of the masses, family expectations, education, expert advice, the needs of others, the opinions of others...)?  How much of the life you have created for yourself is the result of acknowledging and listening to the voice within you that says, "This is what gives me light--this is what I love!"

Who would you be if nobody told you who you were?  Who are you when no one else is looking?

"Now I Become Myself"
  by May Sarton
http://www.elabs7.com/functions/message_view.html?mid=1264215&mlid=499&siteid=20130&uid=20be81a194

How Did You Become?

Who would you be if no one told you who you were?