Visualizing a New Year

I’m not big on the typical New Year’s celebrations and I’m not one much for making resolutions that ultimately fall apart a few weeks into January.  I do like ritual, though.  I’ve got a big pot of black eyed peas soaking on the stove, I think we’ll open all the windows wide again this year to shoo the old stuff out and I always like to take the time to do something reflective.  Last year, I wrote Through What Lens Do You See the World? modeled on the NPR series "This I Believe."  This year, I decided to finally complete a project I’ve had planned for quite some time: create an ever present, concrete representation of my vision of a life well worth living.  I love the finished result.

Though you could do this any number of ways, I like this layered plexiglass frame for several reasons.  First, it captures a variety of my many interests/goals and makes me think of a patchwork quilt where all the pieces are independent of one another but when combined create a beautiful, satisfying design.  Sounds like a good life, eh?  I prefer that, unlike a collage, when you put the pieces in they are not permanent.  You can easily slide them out and put new images in their place as your needs or interests change.  I like the layering effect that allows you to place more important things in the foreground.  Lastly, the images are large enough to have an impact but the whole thing is compact enough that it doesn’t dominate a space.  I purchased this from a big box craft store near us and with a 50% off coupon it was only about $10.

I got the frame and then spent some time thinking about what I wanted to make sure I was weaving into my life in the coming months.  I then went in search of images that created a feeling in me and that were aesthetically appealing—things that I would be compelled to look at.  The final product is composed of a few of my own photos, magazine clippings and Google images.  For me, they represent staying in touch with my dreams--even those that seem less practical but continue to call to me (there was a time that I really wanted to be an alpaca farmer), continuing to stretch myself physically and creatively, creating balance and regularly making time for self-care, taking time to play my new recorder, getting back to frequenting my local farmer’s market to buy and eat fresh and local, incorporating more enjoyable physical activity into my routine, further simplifying by adding more handmade and pure products to my home, walking with my husband and doggie, expanding my garden and preserving more food with my family and continuing home and creative projects.

My current ideal life vision, which is pretty, inspiring and flexible, hangs right in my line of vision just above my desk where I type right now as a constant reminder of what gives my life meaning and pleasure.  I’m ready for the new year!  If you don’t have the time or the desire to represent your vision in this way, try a collage or write a series of “I will…” statements or pull out your journal or a piece of construction paper and create a mind map or a quick sketch—anything that you can put In your line of vision or refer to often.

What special traditions or rituals do you have to make the transition to a new year meaningful? 

Managing Your Sensitive Self

                                                             Photo Kim Bielmann Cabotaje, 2011

Emerging from my long winter’s nap, I am filled with a mix of gratitude that I even have the time to take a few days to completely disconnect from responsibilities to rest along with a little sadness and frustration that I really have no choice but to do so.  Ultimately, though, I remind myself that sensitivity is a trait that has been part of my make-up for as long as I can remember.  It is not a problem to be fixed but a characteristic to be managed.  I thought in case you, my fellow unique travelers, are also in recovery from the holidays, now might be a good time to shed a little light on this issue of sensitivity. 

Several years ago my own coach shared information about sensitivity with me that turned out to be life-changing.  I spent a lot of years thinking something was wrong with me because what many people found enjoyable--big parties, loud music and risk-taking--was often really hard for me.  Sometimes I would push myself to suck it up, lighten up and join in, but I almost always ended up really uncomfortable and wanting to flee and mentally checking out when I couldn’t escape.  Though I had come to understand myself as an introvert, this was different.  I picked up on and was very bothered by inconsistencies in what people said and did, I became physically uncomfortable with too much noise and activity, my tolerance for alcohol and caffeine seemed much lower than others, I felt things (both joy and sadness) very deeply, I was quite uncomfortable putting my work or myself “out there” and I absorbed the moods of those around me.  Talk about feeling freaky!

What I learned from Elaine Aron who has written extensively on the topic of sensitivity and later from the work of Dabrowski on overexcitabilities is that, while it is a less common trait, sensitivity is a mostly inherited and very normal one.  Here are a few facts from Aron’s work that might help with your understanding:

• Sensitivity can be found in about 15-20 percent of the population.
• Individuals who are sensitive have a central nervous system that is more highly developed and so more reactive to various stimuli in the environment.
• Simply put, the sensitive individual reaches overstimulation much more quickly than less sensitive individuals.
• Though the trait seems very similar to introversion, in fact both introverts and extraverts can be highly sensitive.
• Sensitivity is not the same as shyness.
• Though sensitive types may not consistently be the bold risk takers in the world, they do offer qualities of being reflective, paying attention to detail, being attuned to the needs of others and having the capacity to concentrate for extended periods of time on a project or challenge.

If you have already identified yourself as a sensitive person, you have probably also come up with some strategies for managing your trait.  If you have not identified yourself in this way, you may still have intuitively found ways to adapt.  In either case, here are a few strategies that I’ve used over the years that have really helped me manage my sensitivity that might also be helpful to you:

• Limit your use of substances such as caffeine to give you energy or alcohol to calm your nerves.  Either can have the long-term effect of intensifying a lot of the more challenging manifestations of this trait.
• When you’re feeling overstimulated or sapped of energy, get out in the fresh air and go for a walk or immerse yourself in some green space—it’s amazing how quickly doing so can change your body chemistry and your sense of well-being.
• When possible, avoid artificial lights.   Folks have come to recognize that if my lights are out in my office, it may just mean that I’m working by lamplight.
• Go to bed early one night a week.
• Limit artificial substances and processed foods in your diet, as sensitive people tend to be more reactive to chemicals and additives in foods.

Learn to celebrate the benefits and manage the challenges of being more sensitive.  I find that, though I am capable of very hard work and dedication to a cause or vision, I’m not good for much of anything if I don’t pay attention to my body’s signs that it’s time to take a break.  Though I always hold on to a little wish that I had the ability that lots of other people seem to have during the holidays (and just about any time, really) to continue to go and see and do, the sooner my sensitive self fully surrenders to the need to pull in and hibernate, the sooner I am rejuvenated and ready to face the new year!

What effective ways have you developed to manage your energy?  What challenges do you still face with regard to your sensitivity?

New Facebook Page

Hello Friends!

In the new year, I'm working toward expanding the meaningful connections I have with interesting, dynamic individuals.  If you're a Facebook member, please consider searching for the Internal Luminosity page (be sure to search under pages) and like me there.

Thanks so much for your continued interest and support!

~Kim

Tweeting with a Purpose

I'm taking the leap into Twitter.  If you tweet, find me there by looking for Kim Bielmann Cabotaje or iLuminosity.  My goal is to Tweet something worthy of a little thought a few times a week.  I promise to try to make it purposeful.  It's all new for me--why not join me in the adventure?

Happy Winter Solstice!

                                                                         Kim Bielmann Cabotaje 2010

On this dark day I remind myself that, from this point on, it stays lighter a little longer each day.  It's a matter of perspective, you see.

I like to take a minute to be still in the bustle of the holidays to acknowledge the passing of fall and the beginning of winter.  In fact, I look forward to fully immersing myself in winter following the holidays.  In winter I like how the cold days give me a reason to stay snuggled in bed to read a little longer.  I look forward to taking the dog for a walk on a brisk day and noticing how very quiet everything around me is.  I pay attention to how much further you can see in the landscape when it's mostly just the bones of trees between you and what's off in the distance.  I like having the time to dream about what I will plant in my garden in the springtime.  I relish the permission to slow down.

What will you take time to notice on this, the first day of winter?

What's Under the Tree at Internal Luminosity?

                                                                     Photo Kim Bielmann Cabotaje, 2011

To thank my readers for helping me to create my life worth living by giving me an audience over the past eight months, I would like to offer you a gift.  If you are a subscriber or a follower of the Internal Luminosity blog and you are the first person to send an e-mail to me accepting this gift at luminouscoaching@gmail.com, I will give you one month (4 sessions) of free coaching, plain and simple.

It doesn't matter if you are near or far, for the coaching experience is as powerful over the phone as it is face to face.  The sessions will begin in early January and will follow a schedule agreed upon by you and me.  I will honor this offer on a first come, first served basis, so don't hesitate to accept this gift.

With gratitude, I wish all good things to you!

Kim

Looking Forward to a New Ritual in the New Year

I’m fully engaged in the pleasures of the season (watching holiday movies, searching for unique little gifts, drinking peppermint mochas), and I’m not rushing you toward the next holiday.  However, now is the time to consider making a little purchase for yourself.  Why not add to your holiday list, “Purchase a small calendar to keep by my bedside.”  This could be a month-at-a-glance type or a daily record.  I’ve even gotten little compact calendars from the dollar store.  Just make sure it has at least enough room to jot down a few words each day.

Here are some ideas for what you could do with it:

• At the end of each day, write down an adjective to describe your day.  Over a period of time you can begin to see trends in your mood and outlook.
• Every day, write down what you are grateful for.  It has been shown that people who express their gratitude about life are more satisfied with it.
• At the end of each day, write down which of your strengths you have used.  Research suggests that individuals who are able to use at least one of their strengths each day are happier.
• Before you go to sleep or before you get out of bed in the morning, write down your intention or wish for the day.  This can provide you with a positive focus as you move through your day.

So, add yourself to your holiday shopping list.  Make a small investment and get big returns in the new year!

Making Luminous Choices

Who is Stephanie Hathcock?  Why she’s a doctoral candidate teacher of children and adults, derby chick (Mrs. Anthropic Maven to you) married to a Navy Chief who is about to get her first Antarctic cruise on!  She’s taking some risks and sacrificing comforts to seize an exciting opportunity, and I thought you’d like to get to know her.

The day before Christmas (which she really likes), Stephanie will be heading to Antarctica by way of Chile.  She’s decided to do this after her husband (who she really loves) has just returned from a 7 month Navy cruise.  Though it will be hard leaving him after being reunited only briefly and she’s trying not to think too much about missing Christmas, Stephanie decided that this cruise and the work she’ll be doing is part of the ongoing creation of her life worth living.  She’s taking the leap to explore the balmy deep South in their summer (the ice will be floating in chunks rather than forming impenetrable sheets).  Both Stephanie and her husband are excited to see how the other half lives when it is she who is out to sea and he who is holding down the fort at home. 

Armed with her Aveda tea, seasick patches and camera, Stephanie will be joining a crew of scientists who will be trying to find the source of iron concentrations in the Ross Sea.  Her job will be to incorporate what the scientists are doing into palatable material for school-aged kids.  She’ll be creating a website and writing a blog to help peak students’ interest and give them a first-hand look at the scientific process in action.  Though her opportunities for communication during her six week journey will be limited, Stephanie will check in with us once or twice to let us know how her leap into adventure is unfolding.  Will Stephanie make friends with the sea?  Stay tuned to find out!

What comforts and pleasures would you be willing to give up to seize an opportunity on your path to creating a life you find well worth living?