“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ~Anatole France
We all face countless transitions in our lives, from the end of vacation to the change of a job to the addition of family members to the loss of someone we love. Change is inevitable. I am reminded on the eve of returning to my day job, though it is fulfilling and challenging and I really like it, that all transitions bring challenge. It may sound melodramatic to say that because my long summer holiday is coming to an end something is dying in me, but there really is a sense of loss and change which leaves me feeling quite sad. Tomorrow I will dive into the new school year and I will be re-energized, but today I have to honor the transition and the experience that is part of the process.
There are lots of things I am losing. Though I almost never have a summer truly “off”, I do have the freedom to make choices about the commitments I will make and the work I will do. I can stay up late, go for long walks and don’t have to participate in the grind of go, go, go and get to work every day! I have more control over my time and energy and a greater sense of balance. I can move intuitively through my days and feel incredibly productive as a result. There are less chunks of myself I have to give away on a daily basis.
Though I’ll also be gaining things by returning to work (structure, community, connection), my chest is heavy today and I choose to sit with that feeling rather than pretend it away. I have rituals (lay out my clothes, pack my bag, tie up loose ends, walk on the beach, reflect on my favorite summer experiences) to help me ease the transition. Part of me doesn’t want to stop feeling sad because it means I will have switched gears and will be moving on to a new pace and a new focus. But soon enough I will be looking forward to my favorite season of the year, thinking about the fall holidays, relishing the hint of a chill on the edge of the slow burn of the final days of summer. Another chapter in my life will be complete along with the transition.
We all face change. How we approach it determines how easy a transition we have. What changes are you facing? What can you do to honor any loss you may feel as a result and to clear the way for exciting new experiences?
Hmm, I was kind of excited and eager for a new year but the melancholy mood portrayed is, well, melancholy. But reflecting on my summer, I was very fortunate to be able to have more vacation than most people. So maybe we Americans need to be more European in that we take time to vacation and enjoy ourselves and our family (although I vacationed without my family). And hanging out on the beach with some great people was the perfect way to clear the way for getting back to work. Now that the kids are older I miss our back-to-school ritual of cooking out on the beach and lingering there as long as we could.
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