Are You A Unique Traveler?

When I started talking to people about one of the specialty areas I wanted to focus on in my coaching, gifted teens and adults, I got some unexpected and unsettling responses.  Even in intimate conversations with people I believe to be gifted and who I thought would be comfortable talking with me, folks denied and even dismissed the concept of giftedness.  At first I was taken aback and a little disheartened, but then I did what I often do and started researching this topic. 

It turns out that often gifted adults are not aware of their giftedness or deny it. In “How to Charm Gifted Adults into Admitting Giftedness: Their Own and Somebody Else’s,” Willem Kulpers cites several reasons for this phenomenon:

•  There is an assumption of elitism: labeling someone as gifted implies they are better than others
• There is a belief that giftedness requires eminence: any degree of “unsuccessfulness” is proof that giftedness is not present
•  It is an emotionally loaded label: individuals identified gifted (or not) as a child may have been teased or been the target of unwanted attention
• There is a belief that high IQ is the sole indicator of giftedness: for many years a score of 130 on an intelligence or school achievement test was the cut-off point for identification where current practices often include a more holistic approach
•  There is a tendency to focus on one’s own deficits and compare them to other’s abilities: we take our own strengths—those things that tend to come easily—for granted

Why does it matter?...It’s a label and I prefer to be defined as an individual…I believe all people have gifts…

One of my favorite definitions of giftedness is from Michael Piechowski who explains that being gifted means having a qualitatively different way of experiencing the world that often manifests itself in intensities.  While this can mean feelings, experiences and insights are deeper, it can also mean that these individuals are thought to be odd or troubled or that they need to lighten up.  Often the very characteristics that make up the core of the gifted  individual are interpreted as problems to be fixed by both the individual and those in their lives.  When struggling to fit in and meet the standards of general society, the gifted individual is disconnected from her creativity and knowledge and is in danger of letting her potential go unfulfilled. 

Mary-Elaine Jacobsen, in her book The Gifted Adult: A Revolutionary Guide for Liberating Everyday Genius, suggests that there are potentially twenty million adults that would be identified gifted, many of them never screened or not having met the outmoded and limited standard for identification.  These individuals are living with characteristics that are a natural part of their make-up yet are misunderstood and so, troubling. If they have managed to suppress this part of their personality, they have also squelched a vital part of their being.  Bare with me for one more minute, and then I’m prepared to make a compromise.

I wonder…were you identified gifted as a child? Do you have a gifted child, parent, sibling or spouse? Have you ever wished that you could just be normal?  Are you driven to understand why and how things are?  Do you experience deeply both joy and sadness?  Do you have many talents and interests?  Is it sometimes difficult for you to find others who understand your perceptions, interests and ideas?  Do you have perfectionistic tendencies?  Do you tend to shy away from conformity?

Here’s my compromise.  On this blog, rather than referring to individuals as gifted, I’d like to use the term unique travelers.  In doing so, I hope that it will open you up to exploring a topic that may have relevance to your life or the life of someone close to you.  My intention is not to make everyone gifted, but to give you the opportunity to recognize and learn about something that has a significant impact on the lives of some people and to give you some tools that may contribute to a more satisfying life.  For even when individuals are identified gifted, we do a poor job as a society in addressing anything other than the intellect.  In fact very few in the helping professions, including teachers, counselors, administrators, doctors or psychologists have any understanding of what it means to be gifted.

Thanks for sticking with me on this post.  I hope that I have peaked your curiosity and that you’ll be open to checking out upcoming posts on unique travelers.  I will weave these through the content I already have and will continue to provide.  In the end, it’s all about knowing what you need and getting those needs met.  Only you can determine how to go about that!

*Photo by jumpinjimmyjava